Tether’s financially ruinous Caribbean cruise continues. Having reportedly dropped Noble, the now-insolvent Puerto Rican bank that held its $2 billion fiat reserves, Tether has now island-hopped to Deltec Bank in the Bahamas, according to a report by The Block, which cites several sources “familiar with the situation.”

The weekend was tough on the old coin, inflicting an 18-month-low on its “stable” prices and essentially severing it from the dollar. Hopefully, after a few Pina Coladas and a hot stone massage, Tether will return full of zest: and make up with its scorned fiat counterpart, and the exchanges that are trying to ghost it.  

While Tether fritters away its value in three-star Bahamian spa resorts, Gemini—the dollar-pegged stablecoin run by the Winklevoss twins—is rising against the dollar, and has already hit such stomach-churning heights of $1.19. Given that the so-called Gemini Dollar’s entire selling point is that it's “strictly pegged to the dollar,” that’s not a good thing.

It means, for whatever bizarre reason, that investors are so desperate for a dollar-backed alternative to Tether that they’re willing to cough up more than a dollar to get their hands on one. And in doing so, they've compromised Gemini's dollar value, too. Morons. 

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At least Gemini is overperforming, which is more that can be said for Civil, the blockchain-journalism startup, which has pledged to refund investors following its failure to hit its token sale target of $8 million. But fear not—Civil has another token sale planned. And it looks like it's taking it seriously this time; it's given itself “weeks” to prepare for it.

In China, you don’t need a token sale, just a pocket full of European royals will do the trick, and a clunking headline that reads (we kid you not): His Majesty King Harald V and Her Majesty Queen Sonja of Norway Witnessed the Signing Ceremony of “DNV GL — VeChain Digital Low Carbon Ecosystem” in Beijing.”

It’s unprecedented, really. The old world, le ancien régime, crashing headfirst into the new. What next? Will Satoshi’s public wallet get a knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II? Will the fake Elon Musk sockpuppet account get a Nobel Peace Prize? Will a smart contract get confirmed to the Supreme Court? Will Tether’s price be stable? Three of those are plausible.

Read next: On the world stage. 

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