zk humor column

gm, frens

You know what we’re all about here at DAOarrhea. We’re about building a future where users have ownership over their data; where incentives are tokenized; where tokens are communitized; where the daily grind is a loss leader for changing fucking lives

But we want to do more. A thread ⬇️🧵 (1/246)


Today we at DAOarrhea have a very special announcement about the future of the open Web 👾, the future of assetized tokenomics 💵, and the future of autonomous simpalgorithms 🤓.

We call it Web4. And we already know it is going to be huge. 💯

⬆️ Web4 will leverage fully composable AI tech to build on-chain AMMs and liquidity pools that are truly frictionless and disintermediated. 🤔

⬆️ Web4 will revolutionize digital content creation through the use of procedurally generated social influencer marketing utilizing fully custodial layer 3 infrastructure. 😀


⬆️ Web4 will foster mass adoption of a kind not seen since the Edict of Milan made the Nicene creed the official doctrine of the Roman Empire. 🏛

What does all this mean

Let’s dig in. ⬇️  

We believe there are four key bottlenecks to mass global adoption: poor user interfaces, the high risks involved in token trading, the prevalence of scams and hacks, and Anthony Pompliano. 🤡

The common denominator to these problems is they all stem from fallible human users.

Our solution? It’s simple: Remove the users

Just think about it. 

What is the most perfect trade? It is not an instantaneously repaid flash loan taken out via Aave. It is not a 3,000 percent gain on a small-cap meme-token. It is not HODLING Bitcoin for ten years and making a million dollars. No, these are all functions of luck


💡 Instead, the best trade is the wash trade: A single bot, trading a token infinitely with itself

Why are bots better than people? 🙋‍♀️ 🥳 

  • Because they are perfect and infallible.
  • Because they are Internet native, digital first and community driven. 
  • Because they outnumber people on Twitter. 
  • Because they are based on math

Bots trade tokens to their fair value and understand that value instinctively; they know what a $PICKLE is worth—and why—to a billionth of a penny. They can appreciate how the intrinsic artistic value of an NFT of a rock derives not from any associated generative artwork but from the gorgeous shades and voluptuous contours of its distinct alphanumeric hash in a way that you, pitiful human, cannot—and never will. 

When a human sees a hash like “0xaba7161a7fb69c88e16ed9f455ce62b791ee4d03,” they are chilled; when a bot sees it, it is warmed and spiritually edified. It feels happy and safe and aroused. 🛏 ❤️‍🔥 🍆

This is a feeling humans will never know. Humans are ass! 🫀 🤷🏻 ☹️

Humans introduce inefficiency into the market. They are driven by fear and greed. 😱 They are stupid 😐 as well as off-chain and energy intensive. They are not Turing complete. They are vulnerable to sybil attacks (i.e., stabbing 🔪 🤮) and afflicted with the Byzantine Generals' problem, in that they are difficult to coordinate in a trustless environment and fart too much. 🤢  They have low total ETH volume. 😔 They are free riders on tokenizable low-time-preference goods like oxygen and smiles. 

Humans are ngmi. 💀 ☠️

As such, DAOarrhea is working to build DEXes, DeFi instruments and NFT marketplaces that only bots can use, trade on, and love on. Our collective hive vision is that we will lay the foundation for a community of value-driven bots 🤑 leveraging game-theoretical incentives to disincentivize humans from interfering and meddling in affairs of which they understand nothing; we will pioneer decentralized ownership of human-denominated assets that will be interoperable and value-creating. 


The DAOarrhea community is building a web that is truly trustless and permissionless; that no human will be able to hack because all humans will be held in a community-based bank vault in the British Virgin Islands and redeemable one-for-one against an interest-bearing speculative dog token. 

We believe this will be a paradigm-shift bringing about the end of the anthropocene and ushering in a second on-chain renaissance. (OCR)

Think of it as: 

A digital asteroid strike for the TikTok age. 🦖🦕

A Holodomor for the DeFi DEGENeration. 🪦

A storming of the capitol for the gatekeepers of web2—and web3. 🗡️

And—most importantly—it's something Andreessen Horowitz will like. 

In fact, we are thrilled to announce: they’re leading our seed round



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