

$117,614.00
6.17%$2,990.98
7.51%$2.72
11.71%$689.86
2.82%$165.60
5.19%$0.999847
-0.01%$0.200087
10.99%$0.297339
2.30%$2,987.43
7.61%$0.7493
19.78%$45.45
9.63%$117,297.00
5.96%$3,625.31
7.70%$3.51
8.41%$15.60
8.83%$525.36
1.91%$0.335743
16.28%$21.14
7.95%$0.206003
15.72%$8.94
-0.33%$3,202.14
7.53%$0.00001351
8.31%$2,988.85
7.53%$2.98
3.31%$96.33
5.85%$0.999705
-0.01%$46.71
0.38%$1.00
-0.04%$4.00
9.28%$117,522.00
6.21%$323.51
-0.25%$0.00001275
14.58%$8.89
7.34%$0.999622
-0.10%$4.53
2.40%$311.39
5.51%$0.490023
1.24%$392.05
12.09%$4.96
7.82%$2.59
9.22%$1.18
0.02%$0.09875
4.54%$49.77
3.02%$5.48
5.17%$0.921978
9.29%$201.13
5.34%$18.66
5.88%$1.00
0.00%$0.088965
10.22%$1.058
-0.02%$0.35024
19.84%$0.999353
-0.15%$4.72
8.97%$0.641778
6.11%$0.02496783
10.94%$0.232343
11.36%$0.412717
14.20%$10.15
9.09%$3.82
13.13%$16.45
2.27%$0.227155
17.12%$0.741225
5.97%$4.46
0.52%$0.33766
26.51%$1.08
14.55%$0.00002343
6.60%$2,989.10
7.22%$0.08406
3.02%$2.63
7.24%$117,363.00
6.14%$116.21
4.44%$4.76
3.21%$175.42
4.47%$1.63
9.07%$0.498478
8.31%$0.999578
0.01%$0.998759
0.06%$11.39
1.61%$3,132.70
7.58%$3,406.46
7.61%$0.999344
-0.06%$1.91
9.78%$0.02116861
8.66%$1.32
15.23%$1.27
2.01%$12.80
15.61%$0.68681
14.71%$1.84
14.98%$0.01709779
5.02%$0.07287
2.41%$4.05
26.98%$0.75392
8.90%$0.354585
12.11%$3,198.48
7.63%$3,140.37
7.60%$0.702015
56.54%$117,499.00
6.14%$1.00
-0.01%$1.024
4.92%$3,152.43
7.80%$0.999951
-0.04%$0.099382
9.70%$0.00009971
7.26%$1.11
0.01%$117,287.00
6.24%$11.50
-5.27%$0.50478
10.92%$3,351.06
0.73%$0.15994
6.09%$689.82
2.73%$118,756.00
6.49%$0.651323
15.53%$0.999264
-0.05%$0.552416
5.49%$2.52
5.51%$3,221.52
7.35%$185.71
5.25%$216.45
5.28%$3,344.79
0.80%$0.811758
9.60%$0.01752123
12.35%$0.863538
10.73%$2.85
16.04%$22.40
9.95%$0.189632
9.33%$0.01502958
12.84%$0.295529
9.07%$111.75
0.01%$10.74
0.01%$0.81752
11.67%$42.56
5.16%$1.98
3.40%$0.118639
11.23%$0.00000174
33.93%$4.11
9.40%$0.997992
-0.08%$2,997.31
7.82%$45.37
9.58%$0.00000067
4.88%$0.250018
7.93%$3,202.13
7.66%$0.606101
6.77%$0.0094095
5.16%$1.092
0.44%$3,159.40
7.38%$117,167.00
6.01%$2,986.61
7.53%$117,205.00
6.00%$0.382177
8.13%$0.31287
8.79%$0.556851
16.32%$0.998056
0.05%$0.058687
16.31%$0.421001
5.21%$0.556281
8.57%$117,581.00
6.16%$0.998939
0.04%$1.71
5.75%$1.55
8.78%$2.91
22.42%$0.669693
5.39%$0.149007
19.63%$26.65
6.15%$0.01543918
10.77%$45.26
9.16%$0.200668
11.43%$2,988.91
7.61%$0.999621
-0.02%$0.999641
-0.02%$0.095528
21.85%$0.484422
24.27%$0.00828179
9.94%$0.00482855
9.55%$0.623364
9.10%$3,184.24
7.57%$0.22341
-0.06%$0.42702
5.92%$1.21
8.87%$0.999815
-0.01%$48.10
6.35%$7.89
2.82%$6.33
7.73%$0.00000045
1.63%$15.58
8.69%$0.999704
-0.03%$0.061793
1.19%$1.41
11.85%$0.173238
8.76%$3,307.60
7.73%$0.362342
12.65%$0.059306
18.06%$6.44
11.39%$2.53
10.30%$0.00002094
7.08%$0.004492
11.60%$1.094
0.03%$117,066.00
6.03%$0.287362
33.12%$0.9892
-0.67%$1.67
9.28%$0.153697
1.62%$3,270.91
7.61%$0.04072959
8.01%$0.549714
5.13%$1.001
0.05%$2,984.81
7.44%$2,985.81
7.31%$0.00725171
11.98%$0.371286
10.07%$0.377925
11.02%$0.999625
-0.04%$0.078887
14.29%$1.23
6.06%$2,984.34
7.36%$0.896618
16.68%$0.03625073
2.80%$0.0000649
7.42%$117,108.00
5.76%$0.781046
11.11%$180.87
5.45%$0.534752
5.77%$0.01813426
2.95%$20.95
1.20%$0.233931
11.96%$128.15
7.58%$1.23
5.33%$3,617.49
7.55%$0.00394302
6.85%$11.30
6.96%$0.999688
-0.01%$0.318474
4.80%$0.762202
4.52%$0.999047
-0.01%$0.00454717
12.04%$0.999509
-0.23%$0.00371258
5.94%$0.999535
-0.03%$25.70
7.97%$21.13
7.98%$0.661858
7.74%$0.999446
-0.09%$0.03011274
9.39%$117,069.00
5.49%$0.115601
12.05%$2,356.08
5.98%$3,136.32
7.59%$6.88
7.58%$1.02
0.05%Reading
Yesterday, crypto-porn payments startup Spankchain announced a new line of hardware wallet-cum-dildos—slated for release June 9 (6/9), but available for pre-order.
The announcement, illustrated by several graphic photos, was surely an elaborate April Fool’s gag. “Can't steal my wallet when it's shoved up my ass!” wrote Spankchain advisor Brenna Sparks beneath the original Twitter post.
But was it a joke? Why, for instance, was there a 39 slide pitch-deck detailing the cryptodildonics? And who, exactly, had gone to the effort of developing high-res images of the speculative product? Could there possibly be an anus-facing dildo-wallet in the works? With a winning product-rectum fit?
“We made that deck last year,” explained William Bentley de Vogelaere, Spankchain’s co-founder and design chief. “It was meant to see if producing a wallet dildo would 1) work 2) be economically feasible.” But there were “many hurdles” in development and plans to give the devices to Spankchain’s cam models fell through.
“The hardest part would be coding the front-end up,” de Vogelaere joked. But he acknowledged, at least, that the crypto dildos weren’t fully off the cards.
And in the meantime? A simple (albeit somewhat angular) KeepKey can be used to much the same effect.
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