Our stuff

Tim “debunks” dubious news story

World-class brawler Tim Copeland unsheathed his sword of truth and directed it at a bunch of dubious claims made by crypto outlets today. Stories that a Reddit “hacker” was “selling” know-your-customer data pilfered from Binance generated a lot of hype, yet the spurious claims were based on not a shred of evidence. Endure Copeland’s dismantling of the story here, while we get pilloried by our (former) journo friends on Twitter. Color me mortified.

The drug-addled lion’s den

Former child star Ben Munster went to the brink of insanity—and returned a shadow of his former self—after spending some low-quality time with the freaks running leathery old man John McAfee’s 2020 presidential campaign. That campaign, by the way, is now being run from the sea by the exiled McAfee. Yes, that’s right: Just as Munster’s painstaking, days-long investigation of the McAfee Campaign was about to post, McAfee hopped on a boat and sailed out to sea to avoid the Feds, he said via a number of wacky videos posted today. PLEASE, if you do one good thing for yourself in this lifetime, read Munster’s epic. It is literally the best thing Decrypt has ever done. Click here.

History repeats itself; first as tragedy, then as a convoluted Ethereum hard fork

Witty, whimsical, all-round delight and leader of men Ben Munster—what a guy!—took us on a fairytale ride through the odd names of Ethereum’s technical upgrades—and their often fatalistic historical parallels. Read it or die before your time.

Lamborghini Shocker!

The luxury sports car maker got back in touch with my best friend Adriana Hamacher with a startling message: despite an earlier dismissal, the company does, kinda, acknowledge the impact crypto-fanatics have had on its record sales. It turns out that the company’s upward 5-year trajectory pretty much matches cryptos.  And it doesn’t entirely want to distance itself from the lambo-lovin’ crypto bros.

Malta, Schmata: Wyoming is the crypto haven we need

The warm and approachable Guillermo Jimenez looks deep into the groundbreaking crypto-bills passed recently in Wyoming, and why this otherwise agrarian state has designated itself crypto’s regulatory Jesus. Read It Here Now for a thoroughly edifying analyses of what it means for Bitcoin to be legally a currency, why—or if—other states are lagging behind, and what’s next for the Cowpersons & Crypto State.

Other stuff

Unsustainable argument

Bitcoin’s proof-of-work algorithm is unsustainable, according to a report published by the Bank of International Settlements, a very, very big and reputable bank whom you should trust. Its reasons are fairly asinine; PoW is “expensive” and, when block rewards dwindle, won’t provide incentive for miners.

Now, I’m no fan of proof-of-work myself, or any work, really. All those computers whirring endlessly take me back to working night shifts on daddy’s click-farm. Nevertheless, the Bank’s arguments are weak. Even the dullest Bitcoiner knows the talking point that, “er, technically, Bitcoin uses whatever-percent renewable electricity and the block rewards won’t diminish for, like, 12 billion years.”

So try again, Bank. We need you here.

Rumor mill

Ok, I’m only drawing attention to this one because it generated some Cryptopanic hype from the Ripple Army maniacs. According to—I kid you not—”rumor has it” the CEO of global payments provider SWIFT is running scared of Ripple’s Brad Garlinghouse at this year’s Paris Fintech forum. The two were slated to appear together, and now they’re...not. If that’s not utterly damning...well, blame the rumor mill?

London Stock Exchange

Trade-matching tech developed by the London Stock Exchange will be used to power a coming crypto-exchange, called AAX, in Hong Kong, the firm has announced. It will be launched in the first half of 2019, per Coindesk. I would like to end here on an exquisitely dull note. If you have read this far, email me for a valuable prize!